AUTHOR: Panny

CAST: Jade♥Aradia

RATING: G

WORD COUNT: 1827

ADDITIONAL TAGS: AU, created for rarepair swap treats

SUMMARY: When world famous adventurer Aradia Megido set out to follow in her idol’s footsteps, she didn’t expect to meet his granddaughter.

EXCERPT: It was probably a good thing that Aradia didn’t care much for making marketable stories because if she had, she might have been disappointed by how her’s played out. Conventional pacing dictated that any fateful meetings should have occurred a good few chapters into the narrative, typically after she had had some time to explore the planet and establish the mystery of the setting for the reader. Probably it would have happened after a series of suspicious mishaps in some temple, which would really have no place being on an uninhabited planet and which would also be really rude to just wander into (Aradia would probably have done it anyway since curiosity was likely to win out over propriety, so it’s probably for the best that no such temple existed and that the entire thing is completely off topic).

Jade Harley was waiting for Aradia Megido when she got off her ship.

"I wasn’t really sure when to expect you, so the tea hasn’t finished steeping yet, sorry. It should be ready pretty soon, though." Jade was a firm believer that a life of solitude was no excuse for a lack of hospitality.

rec’d by diatorre

AUTHOR: orphaned

CAST: beta Jane/Roxy; Dad

RATING: T

WORD COUNT: 1393

ADDITIONAL TAGS: created for ladystuck 2013

SUMMARY: “Sit down,” Mrs. Egbert says. Shockalots shuffles away; apparently he has to answer a page. “I wanted to apologize for stealing your tall calculator.”

“It’s called a laptop,” Roxy says.

EXCERPT: Roxy Lalonde is twenty years old, still in college, and rocks an IBM ThinkPad 700 so thick it could be cut in half and served at the Quiznos in the basement of her campus cafeteria. Her beautiful, beautiful ThinkPad, full of apocalypse events, has been stolen by vengeful granny who is also no one’s mother, right before finals week. “I’m telling you,” Roxy tells them. “An old lady came in here and stole my computer.”

“Why do you even need a laptop,” says one of the nasally nerds. She can call him a nasally nerd because the frat’s made of nothing but drunk guys peeing into soda bottles in thirty-six hour apocalyptic LARPing sessions that end with everyone pretending the end of the world has plenty of pot farms. “You’re an astronomy major.”

“Shut your mouth,” Roxy says. “I’m telling you, she’s a thing.”

rec’d by diatorre

AUTHOR: Semianonymity

CAST: Jade, Becquerel

RATING: G

WORD COUNT: 1941

ADDITIONAL TAGS: created for jadefest

SUMMARY: Jade, and what it’s like living on a lonely island, made lonelier after her grandpa dies.

EXCERPT: That morning, storm clouds had started to bloom on the horizon, huge and towering, the light going all wrong. Jade had watched it for hours, slowly growing, and finally made her way down to sit on the rocky shore, above the waves—she kept on having to move further and further back, but she knew that if she got too wet, if the surf reached her, Bec would make her go inside. She was still wet, even though the rain visible as a haze on the horizon hadn’t reached them yet. The wind was whipping salt spray at her, soaking through her clothes, and Jade sat there and felt the cold, as the harsh wind stripped away the water, evaporative cooling, something she’d read about. She could imagine the clouds climbing out of her pores—there were places where she was chilled, where the water and wind and the change of matter (water to water, liquid to vapor) left her skin cold and clammy, and there little pockets of heat, not quite enough, where her arms rested against her knees, where her knees were pulled up to her chest, protected.

Her Grandpa had always told her to be a sensible gal. She should go inside. The salt was starting to crust on her skin, drying stiff, and she’d need to wash it off—it stung, badly, on her skinned knee. Where she’d tripped on the rocks, the knots and ropes of cooled lava—sharp, rough, sometimes breaking or sliding under her feet. She hadn’t been careful enough, and Bec took care of her, but she needed to learn her lessons, and Grandpa was dead now. She still had her rifle with her. She’d need to clean it thoroughly—after all, you took good care of your weapons! Grandpa had taught her that.

Bec was suddenly there, a warm mass against her back, and she let herself lean, boneless, against him.

rec’d by diatorre, lantadyme

AUTHOR: Phrenotobe

CAST: Kanaya/Terezi

RATING: T

WORD COUNT: 2403

ADDITIONAL TAGS: bloodswap, amputation mention, created for rarepair swap

SUMMARY: “I was asked to fill in for somebody. They broke their arms.”
“False. You broke their arms.”
Kanaya nods, her attention purposely diverted. Her fingertip hovers over the interface again.
“I think you need a moirail,” Terezi says, “I abstain.”

EXCERPT: Kanaya puts her hand to the curve of Terezi’s skull and puts it back forward. Terezi doesn’t fight it, a quiet little laugh rattling low in her protein pipe.
Kanaya doesn’t say anything else, putting her body further toward Terezi’s side, tweaking at her sleeve, picking at the cuff to test the durability. She huffs another sigh.
“I couldn’t be lonely,” she adds, out of the blue, “I see people all the time.”

rec’d by diatorre

AUTHOR: Panny

CAST: Jade♥Aradia

RATING: T

WORD COUNT: 505

ADDITIONAL TAGS: AU, domesticity, created for rarepair swap treats

SUMMARY: Jade and Aradia make love and science because a vat of highly corrosive glowing liquid beats out candlelight any day.

EXCERPT: “Cyborgs would be kind of cool though,” you say, thoughtful.

“Yes.”

You continue to mull it over, but the companionable silence that follows is interrupted by alarms blaring from the lab. Aradia only sighs as she stacks the dishes while you snag your PPE (just because you’re a mad scientist doesn’t mean you’re not conscious of lab safety).

Some hours later you crawl into bed and Aradia groggily swats at you, complaining of cold feet.

“We’d still be competing directly with the Zahhaks for business, though.”

“We can take them. Now go to sleep, Jade.”

rec’d by diatorre

AUTHOR: TobuIshi

CAST: Calliope, Jade

RATING: G

WORD COUNT: 1284

ADDITIONAL TAGS: dream bubbles, friendship, created for ladystuck 2013

SUMMARY: When Jade Harley found herself floating in empty space with no memory of how she’d gotten there, she wasn’t sure what to expect!

EXCERPT: “Oh, that’s lovely!” A delighted smile lights up Callie’s face as she peers at Jade’s drawing. They’re sprawled on their stomachs on the stage, heads bent over a shared drawing pad, surrounded with a litter of discarded dream-paper and colored pencils. “Have you decided on a symbol yet?”

Jade wrinkles her nose. “Do I have to? Picking just one is kind of…boring.”

“Hmm,” Callie says, apparently considering the idea in full seriousness. She’s very solemn sometimes. Jade thinks it is pretty cute! “Well, most trolls are assigned a symbol from wigglerhood, but…perhaps if you had an interesting backstory for it?” she suggests. “Nearly anything can be excused with backstory, you know. Do you think I could have a go at drawing her, too? I quite like her stripey socks.”

Jade giggles. “You’ve gotta have stripey socks!” she says, and kicks her own slippered feet back and forth in the air. “What kind of witch doesn’t wear them?”

rec’d by diatorre

AUTHOR: percypersimmon

CAST: Jade/Kanaya

RATING: Explicit

WORD COUNT: 1202

ADDITIONAL TAGS: interspecies romance, xeno, magical pregnancy, created for ladystuck 2013

SUMMARY: In which the heroes of Space agree to create a new universe and have the most awkward sex in the history of either of their species.

EXCERPT: “I just can’t believe our genetic codes are identical,” you say. “Either I’m making some mistake, or- or things are even stranger than I thought they were.”

"But it would work," she says, and you look at your hands so you don’t look at her. Big, calloused hands, no reminders tied to the fingers, dark dry skin that’s so different from hers. Suddenly, you’re thinking that these hands could be touching her, and you flinch a little bit, a full body shake.

"I’m sorry," you mutter, and hope she didn’t hear you. You try to still your hands. You’re eighteen and an adult and this is your responsibility. You’re so scared.

As far as you can remember, you’ve never taken the time to wonder about reproduction. (Rose had overanalyzed the shit out of that, when you told her a few months into your mutual acquaintance, typed it out in green letters to a girl on the other side of the Earth.) You know this is super important to Kanaya, though. That she’s grown up worrying and wondering about this theme, poking at it now and then like a loose tooth. You know that if this goes wrong it could go very wrong.

You know that this has a fifty percent chance of being a terrible mistake.

rec’d by diatorre

AUTHOR: overthetiber

CAST: Jade, White Queen

RATING: G

WORD COUNT: 1036

ADDITIONAL TAGS: canon death, created for ouroboros remix

SUMMARY: Though the moon and the queen are long behind her, Jade hasn’t forgotten them.

EXCERPT: After seven years’ worth of dreams spent on Prospit, there’s something weird and gross about dreaming in her waking body. It’s like going to bed in dirty clothes. John doesn’t get it; he had normal dreams, he sleeps fine. But Jade, Jade feels like a fish in a little fish-pond, wallowing through cyclical barrages of filth and dead skin and leftover dinner. More often than not, she wakes up gasping, face hot with sweat or tears. She feels confined.

At first, her dreams are simple: She eats a funny-looking fruit, or loses her gun, or reads a book whose name she can’t recall on waking. Those dreams are frustrating because they’re so pointless. Then come memories, things she’s definitely done before—and it frustrates her that there’s nothing new in her. And the memories, which come at random, are full of people she can’t touch. The Witch of Space has many powers, but some things are still beyond her.

rec’d by diatorre, lantadyme

AUTHOR: Elizabeth Culmer

CAST: Porrim/Roxy/Latula

RATING: G

WORD COUNT: 1270

ADDITIONAL TAGS: grad school college AU, roommates, cuddles, created for ladystuck 2013 treats

SUMMARY: It’s hard being a graduate student, trying to write a thesis, create a revolutionary computer program, or prove the existence of dragons while living in a shitty apartment with your two girlfriends. It’s hard, but at least your girlfriends understand.

EXCERPT: Roxy slammed open the apartment door, already in full-blown rant: “—to god, if I have to ask one more idiot if they remembered to plug in the fucking USB or turn on the computer, I am going to cut a bitch. Or setting up wireless printing accounts. Have I mentioned I hate setting up wireless printing accounts? Because hey, guess what, I hate setting up wireless printing accounts! My brain is utterly fried, and how the hell am I supposed to remember what good code looks like if all I do day in and day out is fix shitty freshman fuckups?”

Porrim looked over at her human matesprit, gauged her mood at genuinely shitty instead of pissed off largely for effect, and saved her latest attempt at chapter three of her thesis. It wasn’t like she was getting anywhere useful anyway. Her words kept tangling back on themselves, either refusing to say what she meant or refusing to sound logical and persuasive. When she started sounding as preachy and tone-deaf as Kankri, it was definitely time for a break — and she was the designated mostly-sane person this week.

rec’d by diatorre

AUTHOR: Gear_King

CAST: John♦Karkat; Sollux, Kanaya, Aradia, Gamzee, Rose

RATING: T

WORD COUNT: 7402

ADDITIONAL TAGS: post SGRUB AU

SUMMARY: Karkat wakes up in a crater and thinks that this time, he’d like to try building something for real. If he can make it. Honestly, he’s just not sure he’s strong enough.

EXCERPT: It wasn’t really Alternia. A quick glance at a stream had revealed that Karkat still looked mostly like himself—better than he expected, given Lalonde’s estimations about how the universe would respond to two separate dimensional species trying to make a world together. His horns were still there but his teeth were flatter, and his eyes were lividly red, enormous irises ringed in gold, with whites in the corners if he looked far enough to the side. He wasn’t any taller. Dammit.

His palmtop didn’t work. He kept flicking it on, hoping to see—but there was nothing but static. Incompatible technology, maybe. Or maybe it was broken. Or maybe this world was uninhabited.

Maybe that was Karkat’s prize. For all the times he ranted and railed against the company of the imbeciles he was around, maybe the game had taken that to heart and impris—gifted him with a planet all his own, where he would never see any of the people he cared about again.

rec’d by kanayadasgray

AUTHOR: renegadeMaverick

CAST: Meenah, Vriska, Aranea

RATING: G

WORD COUNT: 1774

ADDITIONAL TAGS: character study, fluff, created for ladystuck 2013

SUMMARY: Meenah isn’t the type of person to care about the consequences of her actions. Usually. But this was different.

EXCERPT: Aranea’s sudden change of heart took you by surprise. While you didn’t want to abandon your friends, she took the low road and stole the Ring from the boy in blue pajamas. It came out of nowhere and, honestly, you didn’t quite know how to react at first. Part of you is more disappointed because you wanted the ring for yourself, but another part is simply sad because of her abandonment.

One of the reasons you were surprised was because of the fact that as self-centered as she was, she never really struck you as anything more than overbearing. She was a bit bossy, sure, and she loved to drone on and on about the stuff you didn’t really care about, but this was a surprise. She had never done anything like this before, and for some reason, it bothers you.

You usually don’t care about these things enough to warrant further thought, but you’ve gone over the situation in your head a few times because you have no idea what happened. You’re not really sure exactly why she decided to jump ship and sail out on her own, but you’re determined to figure it out.

rec’d by diatorre

AUTHOR: Vintar

CAST: Kanaya♦Dave

RATING: G

WORD COUNT: 2559

ADDITIONAL TAGS: created for rarepair swap

SUMMARY: They say breaking up is hard to do, but they didn’t have a vampire alien trying to help, a game of troll Truth or Dare to navigate, and a city of cans to run.

EXCERPT: “It’s one of the purest forms of pale bonding,” Kanaya explains with a level of scholarly primness that shouldn’t be possible for someone sitting on a box and wearing a cape as a makeshift shawl. The Mayor has double-downed on Dave’s de-caped despair by pinning a star made from a bean can label on to it, authorizing her authority. Dave’s not sure if the little guy was trying to put it over her heart and just missed, or if the Mayor knows something about the inner workings of troll anatomy that Dave doesn’t, but her deputy badge is pinned somewhere around her pancreas and is in danger of falling into her glass of water. “I’m sure I have a book borrowed from Karkat that explains it perfectly,” she continues. “If you’d like to visit the designated recreational activity space, I’ll be happy to read it to you.”

She takes a sip from her glass. Dave ignores her. Can Town is a testament to human-Mayoral relations and a wonderful example of the inherent creativity of humanity and is also a perfectly fine place for someone to hang out after a breakup. What, no, your face is weird and sad, shut up.

rec’d by diatorre, lantadyme

AUTHOR: composer

CAST: Rose/Dave, John/Vriska, Jade/Karkat, Terezi/Vriska, Eridan/Sollux, Aradia/Feferi, Eridan/Vriska; ensemble cast

RATING: M

WORD COUNT: 28540

ADDITIONAL TAGS: complete, historical AU, world war II, nazis, violence, sexual content, noncon

SUMMARY: January, 1942. The town of Blâmont, France is quiet under a blanket of snow and German oppression.

Corporal Dave Strider arrives here to lead a regiment of natives against the invaders; a writer named Rose offers him board; a Night Witch named Nina Makarova becomes Jade Harley, and subsequently crashes her plane near the Vantas family farm; a Jewish boy, John, hides beneath the railroad tracks; a Nazi’s daughter named Vriska discovers him; Terezi, a German girl, upholds order; a young German soldier named Eridan struggles with his sexuality in a time when such a struggle could mean death; Sollux Captor doesn’t help; Aradia Megido and Feferi Peixes, and their romance that doesn’t fit.

EXCERPT: He felt like someone had shoved a butcher knife through his spine; he went still, unable to move or run or yell. So much for any plans to fight her. He could only stare as the girl stepped toward him, head tilted to the side curiously. She was striking, a distant part of his mind thought—-the part that was still a teenage boy under all of the war propaganda. German-blonde hair and dark blue eyes, and features that were sharp and attention-grabbing.

Her eyebrows rose. “Wer sind sie? Was machst du denn hier?”

It took his French-filled mind a moment to remember his first language, German. Who are you? What are you doing here?. He replied in turn, “Please, miss. I’m only trying to survive.”

"What do you … " A furrow dug itself between her eyebrows as she stared, confused. And finally, realization dawned on her face as suddenly as if someone had changed a radio station. She said the word, the deadly one: "Jude."

Jew.

rec’d by oxfordroutlette

AUTHOR: Neigedens

CAST: Kanaya, Terezi

RATING: G

WORD COUNT: 3503

ADDITIONAL TAGS: no SGRUB AU, detectives, created for ladystuck 2013

SUMMARY: It’s a well-known fact that dead men are heavier than broken hearts, but a high-blooded troll chopped up into pieces and stuffed in a heavy grubhide suitcase presents an even bigger problem.

EXCERPT: After you get rid of the body, you don’t think much of it. This is not because it’s something you typically do. You are not putting up some sort of jaded tough guy act for this. You simply did the most practical thing, which was to take the body down to the river and dump it.

The river is filthy, which nobody minds besides the people who live by it, who of course don’t count. The water runs down to a sopor factory, where the chemical process used to manufacture sopor slime should degrade the body enough to make it even more unrecognizable than it already is. The chemicals might even turn the corpse’s bright troll blood to that same muddy color that is the color of all humans’ and carapacians’ blood once it dries.

Either way, it should do the trick. No one will know where the corpse came from, what its blood color is. With any luck they won’t even be able to tell if it’s a human or a troll. You try and count yourself lucky.

rec’d by diatorre

AUTHOR: Phrenotobe

CAST: John/Rose/Dave/Jade

WORD COUNT: 5828

ADDITIONAL TAGS: created for jadefest

SUMMARY: “I can’t fuckin’ believe this,” he murmured. To everybody else it was too quiet to hear, but he was talking to her, so she heard it loud and clear.

“Dave,” Jade said tenderly, though he wouldn’t hear it, “You’re being a huge goob.”

EXCERPT: Being dead wasn’t quite so bad, Jade thought, once she’d been divested of her mortal coil. There’d been some weird bits at the morgue - where they sewed more things up than cut them open, which was sort of the opposite to what she expected from that kind of place. She supposed it was kind of important to make sure everything was stuffed back in - not her, though.

When it came to being a beautiful corpse she guessed she looked pretty okay.

It was weird again at the funeral home, where she just sort of hovered nearby, tugged uncomfortably around as her body was moved. She didn’t spend as long there, though she appreciated the comings and goings of everyone. A lot of the guests looked sad, but the people in the back rooms were pretty interesting, and joked with each other in between putting on gentle, reassuring smiles for their guests.

“Hey,” she said to her peers in the prep room.

Unfortunately, they were all dead.

rec’d by diatorre