AUTHOR: gendersquare

CAST: Dirk/Karkat; Lil Hal

RATING: Explicit

WORD COUNT: 3017

ADDITIONAL TAGS: created for rarepair swap

SUMMARY: In which Karkat is just trying to have some good, old-fashioned, dominant/submissive cybersex with Dirk, and Lil Hal won’t leave him the fuck alone.

EXCERPT: TT: Hello.
TT: I know what you and Dirk are up to right now, and I assure you that’s not a good enough reason to ignore my message. Quite to the contrary, you’ll find the reason I’m contacting you to be highly relevant to the matter at hand.
TT: Literally at hand for you, I presume, unlike how it’s merely figuratively for Dirk. You forbid him from touching himself again, didn’t you?
CG: WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BOTHER ME AT THE MOST INCONVENIENT TIMES? AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, THOUGH I’M NOT SURE I WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWER, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU WATCHING HIM?
TT: I’m going to ignore the first question, because it’s both inane and irrelevant to the topic ahead of us. As to the latter, because I can.

rec’d by diatorre

AUTHOR: bannanachan

CAST: Rose/Feferi

RATING: T

WORD COUNT: 2289

ADDITIONAL TAGS: species swap, created for ladystuck 2013

SUMMARY: Rosana Lalond invites the princess of the Royal Alternian Empire over to summon a horrorterror. Also, to make out.

EXCERPT: You talked to Rosana. She was a blueblood, just like Eridan said. (You doubt somehow that he’d date much lower, even black.) She used long words like how Kanaya does sometimes. You didn’t entirely understand them, but you decided after a short chat that maybe she wasn’t a homewrecker. You even shared some interests – she seemed very, very interested to hear about your lusus, which was weird because your lusus is basically terrifying.

You still hated her, though – you weren’t not entirely sure why, other than the fact that it means you have to share Eridan now. You learned quickly that she’s dangerous, even more dangerous than Eridan is, and it made you worry. It also made you wonder why she was bothering to date him – you loved your moirail, but honestly, Rosana could do a lot better.

The answer to this question was solved when they broke up after four perigees. Not long after, you got to meet her in person, when you went to the seashore to get Eridan’s ring back (that he found on the seafloor, that he left for her on the beach, that you’re not actually entirely sure is really his but she seemed willing to give it away regardless). This trip had the bonus effect of you understanding why you hated her since you first saw her name in type.

Even at only three sweeps old, Rosana was the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.

rec’d by diatorre

AUTHOR: dasteroad

CAST: Aradia♠Vriska, Kanaya♥Vriska

RATING: M

WORD COUNT: 5020

ADDITIONAL TAGS: space pirates AU, helmsmen, body horror, blood, noncon drug use, created for ladystuck 2013

SUMMARY: Your name is Vriska Serket and yours is not a line of business in which it pays to play it safe.

EXCERPT: Once you set your eyes on the Scarlet Lightning, you knew there was no going back. It was no hulking, massive battleship, made to quench rebellions in blood and beat new planets into submission, but a light, sleek frigate as fast as no other Imperial ship you had ever seen. Anywhere there was an outlaw to track down, a precarious political balance to strategically tip in the Empire’s favour, the Scarlet Lightning was there, stacked with quick, deadly laughssassins.

So yes, by all logic the Scarlet Lightning was nothing less than your natural enemy: you should have feared it and shunned it, not coveted it. But yours is not a line of business in which it pays to play it safe. By your logic, the only one that ever meant anything to you, the Scarlet Lightning was made to be yours.

Sure, the good old Spinneret has always served you well, and you’ve worked on it so much, as Kanaya dutifully reminds you in a half-hearted attempt to make you change your mind (as if). Your Helmsman has been basically pan dead from sweeps before you stole the Spinneret, but you have upgraded the engines so that you can still make the best of what little psionic pulse is left, and worked hard on the shields and your network of fake identities so that the Spinneret is next to impossible to track. Why risk stealing an Imperial ship, of all things?

rec’d by diatorre

AUTHOR: cthchewy

CAST: Dave♥Karkat

RATING: T

WORD COUNT: 2606

ADDITIONAL TAGS: established relationship, hosted on the kink meme

EXCERPT: The Mayor chased you out of Can Town in order to do secret renovations to the entertainment district that sprawls across the eastern part of downtown. You can’t blame him for wanting his genius vision to be a surprise, so you scram. After all, the little dude’s doing it so that DJ Cantankerous can have better venues at which to lay down his strict beats. That basically means the Mayor’s doing it just for you. He’s so cute. You love that little guy.

You abscond with DJ Cantankerous, a nutrition cylinder of Extra Spicy Grubsauce upon which you have drawn awesome shades and tiny candy corn horns. DJ Cantankerous is your and Karkat’s illicit lovegrub, of which Karkat has no knowledge. That will all change today, as you have plans to approach him, can-child in your arms ironically swaddled in a baby blanket made entirely of empty Dorito bags and Pop Tart wrappers, and you will say to him, “Hey Karkat hey Karkat hey. I mammal-birthed your wiggler out of my human nook, where’s my child support.”

That is what you planned on saying, but when you finally find Karkat, he’s out on the surface of the meteor practicing with his sickles, lean muscles stretching out all prowly and crouch-y, plush rump bobbing up and down as he lunges, and what you actually say is, “Wow, bro, dat ass was made for twerking.”

rec’d by stheere

AUTHOR: orphaned

CAST: alpha Rose/Jade

RATING: T

WORD COUNT: 1008

ADDITIONAL TAGS: created for ladystuck 2013

SUMMARY: In the 1990s, covert resistance leader and acclaimed fantasy author Rose Lalonde gets to know failed inventor and hunted recluse Jade English. An indeterminate length of time later, Roxy Lalonde and Jade Harley hit it off.

EXCERPT: In the eighties, when Rose was still in high school, she did volunteer work for a few months at a nursing home for the elderly, several blocks away from where she and her mother had lived at the time. It had provided inspiration and perspective; in a time when she had sorely needed both; there was something about being in contact with people who were very close to death that made the right things click in her brain, at least until the place started to scare the hell out of her. As short as her time there had been, she had known a great many people around English’s age, enough that Rose had expected a very different sort of woman when English had originally contacted her. Jade English looks closer to fifty than to eighty, and she speaks and moves like someone less than half her age.

“We can only probe so far without marking ourselves as a target, but yes,” Rose says. “And while we aren’t sure how much power she has on that kind of scale, on a smaller scale, we know that she has had quite a few people murdered before.”

“Mm,” English agrees, still stirring her coffee. “She would be more likely to torture you first, bend you to her will.”

rec’d by diatorre

AUTHOR: Sermna

CAST: Terezi♦Vriska, Terezi/OC; Sollux

RATING: T

WORD COUNT: 4976

ADDITIONAL TAGS: space college AU, legislacerator training, created for ladystuck 2013

SUMMARY: Sometimes, things are sweeter the second time.

EXCERPT: As per usual, your assignment appears on your grubpad after you have seperated yourself from the group. You are surrounded on all sides by huge trees, and below you the ground is soft and springy. It is extremely cold, but that is the least of your concerns. You are too busy being annoyed by your task.

“TRAINEE PYROPE. You have 5 hours to track and capture TRAINEE TERENS alive. If task is completed before time is up, return to ship with captured trainee. If task is not completed, you will be collected and punished. Bear in mind: TRAINEE TERENS is also attempting to capture you.”

Of course you’d be stuck with Terens, and you aren’t even on the same unit! That means that there are at least ten trolls on this planet, possibly more. Your instructions are very vague, but that is not entirely unexpected; legislacerators are known for their ingenuity and skill, and those things are not learned when too many instructions are given.

rec’d by diatorre

AUTHOR: Panny

CAST: Jade♥Aradia

RATING: G

WORD COUNT: 1827

ADDITIONAL TAGS: AU, created for rarepair swap treats

SUMMARY: When world famous adventurer Aradia Megido set out to follow in her idol’s footsteps, she didn’t expect to meet his granddaughter.

EXCERPT: It was probably a good thing that Aradia didn’t care much for making marketable stories because if she had, she might have been disappointed by how her’s played out. Conventional pacing dictated that any fateful meetings should have occurred a good few chapters into the narrative, typically after she had had some time to explore the planet and establish the mystery of the setting for the reader. Probably it would have happened after a series of suspicious mishaps in some temple, which would really have no place being on an uninhabited planet and which would also be really rude to just wander into (Aradia would probably have done it anyway since curiosity was likely to win out over propriety, so it’s probably for the best that no such temple existed and that the entire thing is completely off topic).

Jade Harley was waiting for Aradia Megido when she got off her ship.

"I wasn’t really sure when to expect you, so the tea hasn’t finished steeping yet, sorry. It should be ready pretty soon, though." Jade was a firm believer that a life of solitude was no excuse for a lack of hospitality.

rec’d by diatorre

AUTHOR: orphaned

CAST: beta Jane/Roxy; Dad

RATING: T

WORD COUNT: 1393

ADDITIONAL TAGS: created for ladystuck 2013

SUMMARY: “Sit down,” Mrs. Egbert says. Shockalots shuffles away; apparently he has to answer a page. “I wanted to apologize for stealing your tall calculator.”

“It’s called a laptop,” Roxy says.

EXCERPT: Roxy Lalonde is twenty years old, still in college, and rocks an IBM ThinkPad 700 so thick it could be cut in half and served at the Quiznos in the basement of her campus cafeteria. Her beautiful, beautiful ThinkPad, full of apocalypse events, has been stolen by vengeful granny who is also no one’s mother, right before finals week. “I’m telling you,” Roxy tells them. “An old lady came in here and stole my computer.”

“Why do you even need a laptop,” says one of the nasally nerds. She can call him a nasally nerd because the frat’s made of nothing but drunk guys peeing into soda bottles in thirty-six hour apocalyptic LARPing sessions that end with everyone pretending the end of the world has plenty of pot farms. “You’re an astronomy major.”

“Shut your mouth,” Roxy says. “I’m telling you, she’s a thing.”

rec’d by diatorre

AUTHOR: Semianonymity

CAST: Jade, Becquerel

RATING: G

WORD COUNT: 1941

ADDITIONAL TAGS: created for jadefest

SUMMARY: Jade, and what it’s like living on a lonely island, made lonelier after her grandpa dies.

EXCERPT: That morning, storm clouds had started to bloom on the horizon, huge and towering, the light going all wrong. Jade had watched it for hours, slowly growing, and finally made her way down to sit on the rocky shore, above the waves—she kept on having to move further and further back, but she knew that if she got too wet, if the surf reached her, Bec would make her go inside. She was still wet, even though the rain visible as a haze on the horizon hadn’t reached them yet. The wind was whipping salt spray at her, soaking through her clothes, and Jade sat there and felt the cold, as the harsh wind stripped away the water, evaporative cooling, something she’d read about. She could imagine the clouds climbing out of her pores—there were places where she was chilled, where the water and wind and the change of matter (water to water, liquid to vapor) left her skin cold and clammy, and there little pockets of heat, not quite enough, where her arms rested against her knees, where her knees were pulled up to her chest, protected.

Her Grandpa had always told her to be a sensible gal. She should go inside. The salt was starting to crust on her skin, drying stiff, and she’d need to wash it off—it stung, badly, on her skinned knee. Where she’d tripped on the rocks, the knots and ropes of cooled lava—sharp, rough, sometimes breaking or sliding under her feet. She hadn’t been careful enough, and Bec took care of her, but she needed to learn her lessons, and Grandpa was dead now. She still had her rifle with her. She’d need to clean it thoroughly—after all, you took good care of your weapons! Grandpa had taught her that.

Bec was suddenly there, a warm mass against her back, and she let herself lean, boneless, against him.

rec’d by diatorre, lantadyme

AUTHOR: Phrenotobe

CAST: Kanaya/Terezi

RATING: T

WORD COUNT: 2403

ADDITIONAL TAGS: bloodswap, amputation mention, created for rarepair swap

SUMMARY: “I was asked to fill in for somebody. They broke their arms.”
“False. You broke their arms.”
Kanaya nods, her attention purposely diverted. Her fingertip hovers over the interface again.
“I think you need a moirail,” Terezi says, “I abstain.”

EXCERPT: Kanaya puts her hand to the curve of Terezi’s skull and puts it back forward. Terezi doesn’t fight it, a quiet little laugh rattling low in her protein pipe.
Kanaya doesn’t say anything else, putting her body further toward Terezi’s side, tweaking at her sleeve, picking at the cuff to test the durability. She huffs another sigh.
“I couldn’t be lonely,” she adds, out of the blue, “I see people all the time.”

rec’d by diatorre

AUTHOR: Panny

CAST: Jade♥Aradia

RATING: T

WORD COUNT: 505

ADDITIONAL TAGS: AU, domesticity, created for rarepair swap treats

SUMMARY: Jade and Aradia make love and science because a vat of highly corrosive glowing liquid beats out candlelight any day.

EXCERPT: “Cyborgs would be kind of cool though,” you say, thoughtful.

“Yes.”

You continue to mull it over, but the companionable silence that follows is interrupted by alarms blaring from the lab. Aradia only sighs as she stacks the dishes while you snag your PPE (just because you’re a mad scientist doesn’t mean you’re not conscious of lab safety).

Some hours later you crawl into bed and Aradia groggily swats at you, complaining of cold feet.

“We’d still be competing directly with the Zahhaks for business, though.”

“We can take them. Now go to sleep, Jade.”

rec’d by diatorre

AUTHOR: TobuIshi

CAST: Calliope, Jade

RATING: G

WORD COUNT: 1284

ADDITIONAL TAGS: dream bubbles, friendship, created for ladystuck 2013

SUMMARY: When Jade Harley found herself floating in empty space with no memory of how she’d gotten there, she wasn’t sure what to expect!

EXCERPT: “Oh, that’s lovely!” A delighted smile lights up Callie’s face as she peers at Jade’s drawing. They’re sprawled on their stomachs on the stage, heads bent over a shared drawing pad, surrounded with a litter of discarded dream-paper and colored pencils. “Have you decided on a symbol yet?”

Jade wrinkles her nose. “Do I have to? Picking just one is kind of…boring.”

“Hmm,” Callie says, apparently considering the idea in full seriousness. She’s very solemn sometimes. Jade thinks it is pretty cute! “Well, most trolls are assigned a symbol from wigglerhood, but…perhaps if you had an interesting backstory for it?” she suggests. “Nearly anything can be excused with backstory, you know. Do you think I could have a go at drawing her, too? I quite like her stripey socks.”

Jade giggles. “You’ve gotta have stripey socks!” she says, and kicks her own slippered feet back and forth in the air. “What kind of witch doesn’t wear them?”

rec’d by diatorre

AUTHOR: percypersimmon

CAST: Jade/Kanaya

RATING: Explicit

WORD COUNT: 1202

ADDITIONAL TAGS: interspecies romance, xeno, magical pregnancy, created for ladystuck 2013

SUMMARY: In which the heroes of Space agree to create a new universe and have the most awkward sex in the history of either of their species.

EXCERPT: “I just can’t believe our genetic codes are identical,” you say. “Either I’m making some mistake, or- or things are even stranger than I thought they were.”

"But it would work," she says, and you look at your hands so you don’t look at her. Big, calloused hands, no reminders tied to the fingers, dark dry skin that’s so different from hers. Suddenly, you’re thinking that these hands could be touching her, and you flinch a little bit, a full body shake.

"I’m sorry," you mutter, and hope she didn’t hear you. You try to still your hands. You’re eighteen and an adult and this is your responsibility. You’re so scared.

As far as you can remember, you’ve never taken the time to wonder about reproduction. (Rose had overanalyzed the shit out of that, when you told her a few months into your mutual acquaintance, typed it out in green letters to a girl on the other side of the Earth.) You know this is super important to Kanaya, though. That she’s grown up worrying and wondering about this theme, poking at it now and then like a loose tooth. You know that if this goes wrong it could go very wrong.

You know that this has a fifty percent chance of being a terrible mistake.

rec’d by diatorre

AUTHOR: overthetiber

CAST: Jade, White Queen

RATING: G

WORD COUNT: 1036

ADDITIONAL TAGS: canon death, created for ouroboros remix

SUMMARY: Though the moon and the queen are long behind her, Jade hasn’t forgotten them.

EXCERPT: After seven years’ worth of dreams spent on Prospit, there’s something weird and gross about dreaming in her waking body. It’s like going to bed in dirty clothes. John doesn’t get it; he had normal dreams, he sleeps fine. But Jade, Jade feels like a fish in a little fish-pond, wallowing through cyclical barrages of filth and dead skin and leftover dinner. More often than not, she wakes up gasping, face hot with sweat or tears. She feels confined.

At first, her dreams are simple: She eats a funny-looking fruit, or loses her gun, or reads a book whose name she can’t recall on waking. Those dreams are frustrating because they’re so pointless. Then come memories, things she’s definitely done before—and it frustrates her that there’s nothing new in her. And the memories, which come at random, are full of people she can’t touch. The Witch of Space has many powers, but some things are still beyond her.

rec’d by diatorre, lantadyme

AUTHOR: Elizabeth Culmer

CAST: Porrim/Roxy/Latula

RATING: G

WORD COUNT: 1270

ADDITIONAL TAGS: grad school college AU, roommates, cuddles, created for ladystuck 2013 treats

SUMMARY: It’s hard being a graduate student, trying to write a thesis, create a revolutionary computer program, or prove the existence of dragons while living in a shitty apartment with your two girlfriends. It’s hard, but at least your girlfriends understand.

EXCERPT: Roxy slammed open the apartment door, already in full-blown rant: “—to god, if I have to ask one more idiot if they remembered to plug in the fucking USB or turn on the computer, I am going to cut a bitch. Or setting up wireless printing accounts. Have I mentioned I hate setting up wireless printing accounts? Because hey, guess what, I hate setting up wireless printing accounts! My brain is utterly fried, and how the hell am I supposed to remember what good code looks like if all I do day in and day out is fix shitty freshman fuckups?”

Porrim looked over at her human matesprit, gauged her mood at genuinely shitty instead of pissed off largely for effect, and saved her latest attempt at chapter three of her thesis. It wasn’t like she was getting anywhere useful anyway. Her words kept tangling back on themselves, either refusing to say what she meant or refusing to sound logical and persuasive. When she started sounding as preachy and tone-deaf as Kankri, it was definitely time for a break — and she was the designated mostly-sane person this week.

rec’d by diatorre