WORD COUNT: 40805
ADDITIONAL TAGS: complete, metafiction, it’s Detective Pony okay
SUMMARY: “And then there’s a customized copy of PONY PALS, a gift to you on your 14th birthday from the slippery Mr. Strider. Each page contains lovingly hand-written commentary on the deeds of this intrepid young horse. Later, about halfway through the book, rather than see the gag through to the bitter end, Strider began pasting over entire pages of original text with his own completely rewritten version of the story, while keeping all the chapter titles. His revision is a tough, emotionally draining read. But it’s cathartic, in all the worst ways possible.
He tends to get carried away with his projects.”
EXCERPT: The cat melted through the paddock fence and over to Acorn. Acorn inwardly freaked the fuck out, but managed to keep it together.
“That is such a horrifying cat,” said Anna. “I wish Acorn and I could be free of him and his curse.”
“Maybe nobody will claim him,” said Pam. “Then you could finally test your new guillotine.”
“That would be so much fun,” said Pawnee.
“I can’t kill the cat,” said Anna sadly. “My mother says it’s a sin to kill anything other than a human. If we can’t give him away, we’ll have to suffer his sorcery long after we’re all in the grave.” She shuddered. “The wind— do you hear it, Pam? O that it were blowing more fortuitous tidings our way, instead of this rank scud of feculence. I age, I fear, and I fear my aging. Would that that cat’s innocence were mine.”
“Too bad,” Pawnee sighed. “He’s such an evil fucking cat.”
“I hope someone claims him,” said Pam.
The cat jumped up on the highest fence rail and started shitting again. Acorn and the cat locked eyes, knowing that soon the battle between them would begin, and that at its conclusion, something surely would be destroyed. Maybe one of them. Maybe both. Maybe the entire world.
Anna wondered what would happen to Acorn’s great new friend.
rec’d by correctdichotomy, lantadyme